Blogging Pain

I've been blogging for a while now... going through my archives, i've been writing here for about 6 years, albeit fairly sporadically over the last couple of years... just one post last year!

If there's one thing archive-surfing will do, is make you cringe at the person you once were. When you still lived in the rosy glow of pre-adulthood.

I think the moment you have that mortgage tied around your neck and you have people depending on you to feed them and give them a place to live, that rosy glow fades into the reality that is life. Now I have mouths to feed, bills to pay, and that roof to keep over our heads. So there really is no time to take up fetal position and wallow in every thought and feeling. So I take every ball of fear and anger, stuff them into a knapsack, hide it under the bed. I have to be strong for the person I love, as he needs to be strong for me. I'll deal with that knapsack some other day.

That's when it hits me that I blog most in great pain. Because when you are bereft of friends and family, and the only other person you have is also in the same boat, the only place you have to verbalise your fear, anger and bitterness at always pulling the short straw is.. here.

And so I blog until I see a brighter day.