I wish you well

Two years, to the day, that we went different ways. I've heard people say that you should never mark sad occasions. That doing so keeps you in the past, and prevents you from moving on. Then again, how can you not remember and mark the day when you were irrevocably changed?

I thought about you, yesterday, on the train. Probably didn't help that I had Celine Dion ringing in my ears about how it's all coming back to her. It struck me that it really has been, two years. Two years ago, I never thought I'd be here, living a life so totally removed from yours.

In two years, I've come to a realization that even when we move on from the people that we once loved so deeply, even if we truly have moved on, we'll always carry pieces of them around with us. The heart never truly forgets. We do, however, choose which pieces we carry around with us. We can carry around the pieces that cut and wound - the disappointment, the anger, the hurt.. or we can carry around the pieces that warms the heart the holds it - the surprises, the thoughtfulness, the laughter.

One piece that I carry around is when you belted out 'Your Song' in front of a room full of people. An ambitious song to attempt, but I don't think I ever told how much that meant to me. Not just that you did it, but that you did it in a time when your own life was in crisis.

Or when you kidnapped me to Adelaide to see Ann. That sashimi salad you made for me for my birthday. Mmm. Salmon, salmon, and more salmon. I don't think I ever told you how much that meant to me either.

Your story said we were taking a break. My story said we were done. We never talked about that either. I guess neither one of us were ever masters of expression, hey?

But when all is said and done, wherever you are, and whatever you do.. I wish you well. I wish you all the fulfilment of success, the joy of contentment, the freedom of truth and the warmth of love.

Me? I'm doing alright. I've seen strange landscapes these past two years.. the barren wastelands, the rocky mountains, the desert wilderness, the mirages.. but right now, I am where I want to be. I have new battle scars.. but I've also grown and toughened. Still searching for a place to belong, but I know that it's there. My eyes are sharper now.. more able to pierce illusions and see things for what they are.

No regrets.